"Superman Returns" writers shown the door

The world is going to be shocked to discover that Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris, the writers who tanked the Superman franchise before it even got off the ground by forgetting to write action and excitement into "Superman Returns," have opted not to write the sequel to 2006's historically bad celluloid turd, according to Variety. They also reported dancing in the streets, or at least in comic book stores, before ambulances were called to provide oxygen for the out-of-shape shut-ins who frequent these establishments.

The word is that Warner Bros. wants to start fresh with the next movie anyway, expressing complete surprise that fans didn't accept Superman being a baby daddy, not throwing a single punch, not doing anything "super," being portrayed as a stalker, and Lex Luthor not being a threat to anyone. Bryan Singer was reportedly pleased with how the movie turned out because Brandon Routh was "delicious."

Here's hoping this leads to a cleaning of house, starting with Bryan Singer, and followed by Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey, having their roles as Lois Lane and Lex Luthor being filled by actors who actually possess the qualities to perform those roles.